first ache....

Can u relate to a bad break up especially your "first?" Like I said I write about things and people I've encountered this is not about one or any specific people let's just get that out the way. This may be how you feel or felt....
If you've been in a long relationship where time is invested(years) a break up is very difficult to get over because the more time you spend with a person you grow roots together. Lesbian relationships are so much worse because we connect with each other on an intimate level that no man can ever feel. Something about her that makes you crave her, something that makes you fiend for her its unexplained. You would do anything for her and she has your purist love your "virgin" love. She is your first experience and she promises that she will never do you wrong. Your heart tells you she is the one but like dream says when it comes to love you never use the right side of your brain. You overlook signs that you normally would ignore or even tolerate because she has your "virgin" love and she's told you that you've got nothing' worry about. Then you see she is changing more and more but you hold on to the memories of the good times like they just happened yesterday. You know better... you feel it in your soul that something isn't right but you stay because she has your "virgin" love. The problem with "virgin" love is that you become blinded because she has part of you that nobody else has. When you get your lesbian virginity taken you don't know what to do because you can't imagine living life without her. She showed you how to use your tongue or fingers she broke you in she was your first. Believe me it will take time to get over your hurt and pain but once you do take the experiences that's you've had with that person and examine the situation. Its over for a reason infidelity,trust issues, growing apart the love is gone...Whatever the case learn from what happened good and bad because now you will be a different person...memories of the life you've had replay in your head like your favorite song on replay...you don't want to listen to the radio because you'll hear a song that reminds you of her... So you listed to depressing or angry music, songs like "HalfCrazy" by Musiq, "Burn" and "U got it bad" by Usher We can't be friends by Deborah Cox and R.L., and "I don't wanna" by Aaliyah. Damn she had u heart and you gave her control over it... How could she do this? Not her, she promised, SHE PROMISED...you can't stop wondering how they are or what there doing. You feel like she was your oxygen and now you can't breath. You are so scared you vowed to always be together so what now??? Your heart may want the person back but your head knows better...In the words of Jill Scott "The reality your were never good for me and I was never good for you."

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